Ok, perhaps I'm done seething. At least for today. Poor girls! We went to get their hair cut and the hairdresser found one of those muther f*^%ing pests on my baby's head! We had them once before about six years ago, and let me tell you, I should have been hospitalized. Really. I completely lost it. I "relaxed" with the vaccuum cleaner in my hand. I vacuumed every surface in my house . . . . at least three times the first day! I threw away every freakin' toy including the plastic ones. Screw bagging up the stuffed animals, they went in the garbage. I used the damn pesticides on my girls' heads . . . twice. Why? Because I saw one of the creepy crawlies crawling after the first time! I made them sit in wood chairs on top of sheets and vacuumed underneath them when they moved. Finally, my husband caught me wandering vacantly around the house holding the vacuum cleaner like a lover and mumbling something incoherent. I'm not kidding people. He forced me to take a xanax and really, all went pretty well after that. We nit picked for a few days but we pretty much cleared it up. Probably the vacuuming.

This time, I don't know what happened. Some kind of super mom thing or something. I totally didn't panic. Sophie did. She had a screaming hissy fit outside of the salon (which is conveniently located in a strip mall) and can you really blame her? The idea that those beasts are crawling around on your head . . . yikes.

So we went to Wal-Mart, bought our drugs and assorted combs and brushes (I'm throwing the old ones away) and went home and de-loused ourselves. I deloused myself, because I trust no one in this house to check me for nits. I'm the only person who can do it correctly, so I guess I'm just screwed.

I didn't find ANYTHING on the child's head where the hairdresser said she saw a live one. Nary a nit and no dead bugs after the drugs. I did find about 15 nits in the other child's hair. Her hair. Oh my lord. It is down to the middle of her back and thick. Thick thick. I've gone over her about three times today and each time found one or two that I missed. Savannah's hair is thin and fine, which in general sucks for her, but rocks when you have lice. I went over her three or four times, found nothing and am positive I missed nothing. One thing that is kind of funny yet kind of mean is Savannah knows I didn't find anything on her head but did on Sophie's. She keeps inching away from Sophie when they are sitting down and looking at her and going "What's that moving on your forehead?"! I know she's just scared but Sophie thinks she's screwing with her. Ah, sisters.

Then I did ass loads of laundry (still doing them) because I really think that (and the vacuuming) are what kept us from a reinfestation. That's what the Harvard Website says and I trust the Harvard dudes. Google lice and you will come up with millions of different stories and opinions. I'm sticking with the big guys.

Just to be on the safe side we are now all sitting with our heads doused in olive oil, wrapped in saran wrap and covered in shower caps and we will remain so until tomorrow at which time we will wash our oily heads and pick nits again. Well, I'll nit-pick the girls and pray there are no nits in my hair.

Those of you who have gone through this before, doesn't it suck? I know in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't. I mean, my kids don't have cancer (although I could just have possibly caused some sort of damage to them what with all the pesticide) right? Lice don't hurt you, they just make you crazy.

If you haven't gone through it yet, I pray you never have to. Please wish us well.